With Gratitude, and a reason to Stand Up!

Last days are often bittersweet, but in my past few professional experiences the balance always tilted more heavily towards the bitter. so today, my last at a summer fellowship i never thought i'd ever get, it is so refreshing to exit with a smile, a twinge of sadness for the people who've been so great to me, and next to no regrets. this was my first job inside an urban public school system-- one with well-publicized challenges-- and it has reinforced my goal to work in this sector.

after witnessing the dilapidated conditions of many of the system's school buildings, i became fully aware of and grateful for the resources that made my public school experience so very different. the link between the quality of a school facility and the academic experience of a student is stronger than i ever realized. it was humbling, but also inspiring--there is so much opportunity, so much that needs to be done. how do we ensure that today's and future generations of students get the quality education they deserve? i truly believe its the civil rights issue of our time.

so even though i often vented about the sketch-factor associated with my daily walk to work (um...large abandoned field, the railroad tracks, the gross construction workers, and the possible drug den across from my building-- it all spelled 'potential crime scene') and complained about my garden level office (read: no windows, poor ventilation, and bugs!)--nothing could be more valuable than having an insider's view of an public system famous for its dysfunction. there is much complexity involved with designing, building, operating, and maintaining school buildings...and despite my preconceived notions, there are no easy solutions. the media will say that the system does not have the will to fix itself. but after working there alongside those responsible for the fixing...i contend that the will exists, but the means to do so are not always there. so with that, a way for others to learn more and possibly, to help ensure there will be a movement to bring resources to some of these important issues:

Standup.org is a coalition sponsored by the The Gates Foundation and The Broad Foundation to generate national awareness about America's high school graduation crisis. if you look at the numbers, you'd worry more about our future as well...

In Pursuit

When I was twelve years old, my dream job was to be a corporate executive. That’s it. I had no idea what that actually meant but I thought Working Girl was a kick ass movie. And I thought having a big corner office in NYC sounded glamorous. And besides, if Melanie Griffith can make it big on Wall Street with her Betty Boop voice, then surely I had a shot. Sing it, Carly Simon, SING IT!

Unlike my other friends who wanted to be doctors or lawyers or engineers…I wasn’t really passionate about one specific thing. The problem was, I liked a lot of things and even excelled at some of them. But there was no singular passion I could point to, directing me towards a clear career path. So I arbitrarily selected business and afterfinishing college, headed straight towards the corporate path. Along the way, I got some great projects, met some amazing mentors and friends, and learned how to put together really awesome power point presentations.

But something happened that messed up my plans. My first summer in the city, I started volunteering with public school students. My motives were selfish—it was a way to morally compensate for my accelerating yuppy hedonism. “Hey”, I thought, “I’m giving back to those in need! Look at what a good person I am!” I was such an asshole. And worse, the experiences with the students inside the classroom revealed what a spoiled brat I really was. Kids in the city were given the short stick--schools were overcrowded, undersupplied, and filled with disengaged principals and teachers. I was floored. No one told me my public school education was a luxury good. I guess I was too ignorant to ever consider it something so valuable.

A fire was lit inside me. I got more involved in public school projects, researched school performance statistics just for the sake of it, and attended talks about education reform. The issues plaguing the urban education system were infinite and complex, but with each unveiling of a problem also provided an opportunity for change—I wanted to help fix things, I wanted to be a part of this movement to improve our schools. This got my adrenaline pumping. Climbing the corporate ladder losts its appeal and gave way to a "hobby" that was slowling taking over my life.

For me, the blatant inequity that exist in city schools is plain disrespectful. Recognizing this allowed me to also recognize my passion to work in this world. I wasn’t prepared to take this leap and make such an extreme change, and believe me, neither were my parents (I recall their reaction being a big-- WHA?!?!??!). But I finally found something that got me out of bed in the morning; I finally found something specific to focus on.

And now, I'm pursuing something I never thought I’d be doing when I was twelve: living in a city that’s not New York (temporarily) and working inside one of the country’s most dysfunctional school systems. The work is hard because the outcomes are real. I’m scared shitless that I’ll make mistakes which I'll inevitably end up making. I wake up every day worrying about the impact of my decisions. And mostly, I wonder if I’ll live to see a change in the right direction. One thing I do know, I don’t wake up wondering what I want to do anymore. This is my dream. And if there’s anything I’ve learned about dream jobs is that you should never confuse them with things you see in the movies, never expect them to be glamorous. Instead, measure them in terms of personal satisfaction. That is what will make the difference.