Wednesday, August 10

Endings and Beginnings

the day has come. its been 11 months in the making, but the exit strategy i crafted last september has now reached its long anticipated endpoint. today is finally my last day at a soul-sucking job that for better or worse, has changed my life. my tenure here has seen an endless array of frustration and self-doubt that on my lowest days (and there were too many to count), i felt demoralized, regrettful, and often wondered aloud, why bother?

the answer to that question is simple-- because it's all necessary. every shitty job and stupid decision is a necessary evil. so for every horrible moment at this company, there are surely ten thousand others that could rival it and have left me worst off. so now, on my last day, i can say with certainty that if i got a re-do on the past year and half, i'd probably make the same plays, take the same hits . its cheezy to admit, but every mis-step just leads to yet another life lesson. so as i get ready to close this door (more like SLAM it shut) and gingerly open the next...i'd like to commemorate this very significant day with a glass half full review of the good and the less than stellar...

things i will miss:

1) the few amazing friends i've made. i never would have survived through a SINGLE day without them. lifesavers, i tell you. although i'll miss the daily banter, i won't miss the hourly bitch sessions.

2) afternoon breaks for Porto Rico coffee (the best in the city, IMHO). it was the perfect way to take a breather from a crappy work issue. funny how those happend nearly every day around 3:30pm....sigh.

3) lunchtime walks through soho. this is the most ideal part of town to work in.

4) the paycheck

5) the paycheck. yep, i will miss this TWICE as much when i'm a poor, ramen-eating grad student.

things i will NOT miss:

1) my boss' incessant croaking voice.

2) the unisex bathrooms. you would think i work with heathens...why would anyone pee on the seat, forget to flush, and leave dirty napkins (don't ask) just lying around the sink and floor?

3) my boss' incessant nail biting.

4) attending yet another dick-measuring contest. which, is really what a meeting is like at this company. alright already, you're ALL small! geez...

5) the endless construction work on my floor. sure, NOW they bring in the cute handymen when i leave. but the last 10 months previous, the floor was teeming with smarmy, drooling workers who stared at my butt while excavating abestos-laden concrete from the walls.

the last few weeks have been an exercise of bipolar emotions: one moment, i'd be crying in frustration, disappointed at what little tangible value I leave behind...but then in another moment, I'm dancing down the aisles, walking in hungover from a celebratory meal with friends...crazy happy to start a new life stage. six years after leaving the classroom, i'm heading back as a grad student, continuing the quest for My Dream Job.

peace out! it's been real.

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