Sunday, April 15

the burden of choice

many have told me that i am in an enviable situation, and i cannot disagree. after months of endless interviews, soul shattering self-analysis, and two or three poorly timed, stress-induced breakdowns-- i have the good fortune of receiving two amazing job offers. of course, true to form, i'm now facing another round of soul shattering self-analysis and stress-induced near breakdowns just trying to decide which one to take. again, not exactly a bad situation but its not going to stop me from whining and complaining like the little beeyatch that i am!

life is filled with choices. but it's also about timing. and opportunities don't often present themselves once, much less twice, so i'm taking pause to at least reflect on and enjoy this. although no one can predict the future, it's still very strange to recognize the different directions your life can take just by making a single choice. that all the little and big moments in our lives-- a missed train, a random meeting-- leads to a certain set of actions and consequences that wouldn't have happend if those instances didn't occur. it's all very Sliding Doors, though i hate comparing my career choices to a gwyneth paltrow movie.

so my pros/cons list is made and i am closing in on a decision. its scary and exciting at the same time. and i know that no one will understand this: but making a choice is also a little bittersweet. despite the exhaustion, anxiety, and stress of the past six months-- besides the constant plague of self-doubt-- i'm gonna miss this process a little. i've learned so much about myself and about the lives of others, and i hate the idea of letting someone down. but that's life for you. and its time to take a leap and hope for the best. wish me luck!

1 comment:

Tim said...

Congratulations on the choice I know you now made. Working for good is much better than working for evil, which I do.

I added you as a link on my own site. Be warned that my own traffic consists of ne'erdowells and undesirables. Good luck with that.